Too Heavy

too heavy pic

A few months ago I went to the chiropractor because of severe hip pain. my chiropractor suggested I put a lift in my shoe in order to bring my spine into alignment. Since I’m a gal who enjoys wearing all different styles of shoes he suggested I glue the rough side of a strip of Velcro to the back of the lift, and then glue the soft side of Velcro strips in the right shoe of each pair.

He had no idea as to the scope of what he was suggesting!

When it comes to shoes, this past few years I’ve been abundantly blessed! Between some great clearance specials, finally receiving my clothes and shoes from my daughter’s storage in Maryland, and acquiring some adorable castaways from friends and family, I could probably open my own size 8 shoe store. That afternoon I sat in my backyard with a roll of Velcro, a pair of scissors, a tube of superglue, and my first small mountain of right footed shoes.

I cut the first few Velcro strips and glued them to the shoes by pressing my fingers firmly against the Velcro. The Velcro stuck, but I was concerned that I wasn’t applying enough pressure to produce a secure hold. So I added more weight by standing up and stepping into the shoe. Did I mention that I was banned from using super glue at my last job? Okay, I’ll admit most employees don’t spend the afternoon trying to do secretarial work with one hand glued to the shoe they were repairing, but an all out banning? I think that was a little extreme!

You probably know where I’m going with this.

When I was convinced the strip was secure I lifted my foot; my shoe came with it. As I stood there with my shoe adhered to my foot I realized the extra weight had pushed the glue over the sides of the strip. I had two choices, ruin a good pair of pumps with acetone or lose a little skin. Good thing, the skin on my feet is thick. As I stood there, preparing to rip my flesh from my shoe I started to laugh–and laugh—and laugh. I laughed about the ridiculousness of the situation. I laughed about the uncertainty of life. As I continued to laugh the Lord spoke to my spirit, “Too heavy.”

I thought about the recent deaths of my mother and brother. I thought about how I drew a blank every time I tried to blog or work on my book. I thought about the weight I was carrying from my own expectations and from the expectations of others. I had been trying so hard to make myself be “OK” I had become stuck. I ripped off my shoe and committed to go easier on myself.

So many times when we are grieving a loss or going through a trial we just think that if we can “just get over it” we will be OK. It doesn’t help when those around us are pushing us to do the same.

“Just rejoice that your love ones are in heaven!”

“Just receive your healing!”

“Just believe for more!”

“Just give thanks!”

It’s good to encourage. But comments to encourage can easily sound like judgments, especially when they are proceeded by “just.”

I am learning that…

I can rejoice that my love ones are in heaven while still grieving their loss on earth.

I can receive my healing while continuing to follow my doctor’s advice.

I can believe for finances to be released long before I see my answer.

And I can be thankful without liking the trial I am going through.

God asks us to trust Him. Real trust comes in the midst of real emotions. Just read the Psalms. Matthew 11:30 says that God’s yoke is easy and His burden is light. I am so thankful that when I am going through trials or seasons of loss I don’t have to force myself to “just” do anything. My Heavenly Father loves me just because I am His daughter. He understands all my strengths, weaknesses, and emotions. Knowing that I can be real with Him as He carries me through the trials of life, eases my yolk and lightens my load.

God bless,

Jeannie Diane


3 thoughts on “Too Heavy

  1.   Just want you know that your blog was a needed reminder—-my best friend and my beloved dog passed on to heaven in the last few months —- it has been a difficult time. it is good to get your perspective.   Thanks, my friend, Cheryl `      

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