Since I grew up living in the somedays, it took years until I learned to live in the todays, (see Jan. 17th 2010 blog about manna for each day.) But during my last trip to Texas, situations changed so rapidly, I jokingly told a relative one day, “I’ve learned how to live in the todays, now I’m learning how to live in the timinutes.” As soon as I said it, though, I realized it wasn’t a joke…it was reality.
Where everything can change and usually does in minutes. On June 7, Mom didn’t wake up from her nap. She was air-vacced to San Antonio and put on life support….her diagnosis—meningitis and pneumonia. During a period of two months, Mom was on life support 3 times. At times, I felt like I was on a roller coaster. She would be doing so well and then someone’s mistake, a drug reaction, or a new infection would send her back to ICU. I got to the point I didn’t know what to pray. She was suffering so much. One minute Mom is talking, the next she is aspirating and choking because a nurse forgot to crush her meds. One minute she’s sleeping, the next she is coding because someone gave the wrong meds. One minute I’m sitting in her room letting her go, the next the Lord is stirring my spirit to speak the miracles of the Bible over her and pray for her to live. One minute she is on life support, the next she is breathing on her own. One minute the docs are saying there is no hope, the next they are amazed at her recovery. One minute we were discussing her funeral, the next we are planning her homecoming.
In the midst of trials, we oftentimes, want long term answers. But all we really need is direction for the minute. Lord, what do I do now? What do I pray now? What do I say now? So what was I to pray in timinutes for Mom? Sometimes it was for breath, once it was for hemorrhaging to stop, sometimes it was to clear up infections, sometimes it was for peace, and twice it was to let her go (that was more for me.) Sometimes, God would send others not just to pray for Mom, but for me. Sometimes he sent friends to get me out of the situation completely. I never knew when I was going to get a text saying “Can you be ready in 10 minutes?” Sometimes it was to pray with others and go on some “God adventures.” Other times, it was just to relax. Whether I was sleeping on the nursing home floor, or in a hospital chair, or on a couch; or weather I was walking along the bayfront at 1:00 a.m., seeing relatives I hadn’t seen in 40 years, or speaking to a group of ladies, or revisting broken places, God was orchestrating it all…as He was teaching me not just to live for the day…but for the minute.
The other night was another timinte. My brother called at 2:30 a.m. Mom had respiratory failure and was being transported via ambulance back to the hospital. I remember thinking. “Lord, not life support again! Maybe we shouldn’t intervene this time?” I called my sis and then asked God what to pray. “Pray for her to have breath. Pray the Holy Spirit breaths for her.” So I did. Shortly after Mom arrived at the hospital she began breathing normally. If there was an obstruction, it was gone. After numerous tests, the doc could find nothing wrong, and she was released. I don’t know how long Mom is going to take to recover. I don’t even no if she will fully recover. I don’t know the days of her life. But I do know— for that minute, God said, “Pray for breath.” And that’s all I needed to know.
May the Lord Bless you with His grace and wisdom; not just today, but in every minute of the day!